"Rather than praying for what we want, pray that His will would become the desire of our heart so that if His answer is no, rather than being disappointed we are thankful because we know that His plan is better."
Dang. I read that sentence and I think, "YES!" I need to do more of this. Surrender my will to Christ. Surrender my desires, lay them at His feet, be okay with what comes my way. These are things I need to remember to do daily. You want to know the craziest thing? I said that quote above about two months ago when I was on the phone with my mom.
Every day on my way to work (the barn!), I call my mom and we catch up. Some days she tells me sweet stories about my nieces, some days I'm moaning and groaning about the Arizona heat or the turmoil of trying to buy a house, and some days, well, some days we go deep. We challenge each other and lift each other up to a deeper, better relationship with God.
I am so thankful for these conversations where I can let my guard down and let words come out. Every now and again, God takes over and advice I didn't know I needed comes out of my own mouth!
Now that we are several paragraphs in, thank you for sticking with me for this long! The reason I was inspired to write the blog that has already taken twists and turns that I wasn't expecting, is I wanted to encourage you, and me, to take a step back and look at our goals, our hope, our dreams, our deepest, most secret desires. Who are we looking to for encouragement and validation in those dreams and desires?
Over the past year, Brandon and I have prayed regularly for a home where we can start a family, be a part of the community, and homestead. We initially began looking in Northern Arizona then Southern Arizona, then we looked in Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming, finally, we began looking in Texas and Oklahoma, really hoping for Texas. Through it all we prayed for God's will to be made clear. We prayed for a place that we could use to serve God. We prayed for a place that God would use to make a difference to the community, especially kiddos, around it.
Right before our wedding in November, Brandon and I placed a backup offer on what I thought at the time was the perfect place. We never heard back.
Then we bought the most expensive horse either of us has ever owned, and he's just the best! But, there went half of our down payment.
We prayed and prayed. We trusted the Lord and we asked that our dreams and visions would be of the Lord. Slowly, our dreams took shape, they grew and changed into something neither of us expected! We went from wanting 5 acres to looking at a minimum of 20 acres, knowing we would still outgrow that land.
As we prayed, things changed, the dream we thought we wanted, staying in Arizona, no longer seemed an option, but a dream that was bigger and better than we imagined took shape!
And then it came: the perfect house! The house was $40,000 over our budget so we looked at other houses. We prayed. We asked the Lord to change our hearts to His desire so that we would not be disappointed about what we wanted, but elated to get to serve Him where He would place us.
Almost every day we were looking at Zillow to search for home. Our "perfect" house dropped $40,000 and was now in our budget! God is so, so good! We shared a pretty extensive list of homes with our realtor that interested us and our "perfect" house made the absolute bottom of her list of recommendations. Still we prayed for the Lord's will to be made clear.
Our realtor showed us a couple houses via zoom and then she made the long drive to northern Oklahoma to see our perfect house! The closer our realtor got to the home, the more excited she became. One by one, her fears were eased as she saw the area and made it to the home. The house is surrounded by pastures of cattle, treed land, and open space.
The recently built house was more beautiful in person than it was in the photos! Everything was coming together! Still we prayed! We sought the Lord's will and favor, still asking for our hearts' desires to match His desires for us. Slowly, one by one, everything has come together for the home!
Last weekend, Brandon and I were able to make the drive to Oklahoma and immediately, we fell in love with the area! We were surprised by what the towns had to offer, a beautiful lake, and so much more! At one point, I pinched Brandon to make sure we weren't dreaming! It was just that good. I happy cried. I giggled. We were both literally jumping up and down!
While for some of you, a year may not be anywhere close to as long as you've been waiting for your dreams to come true, it was a wait. It was a process at times we wanted to rush, but we made ourselves stay patient and boy did it pay off in the end!
My encouragement to you my friend is that while you are in the waiting period, keep checking in with yourself and with God to make sure your dream is the dream you should be dreaming. Maybe God wants it to shift a bit. Maybe He is waiting for you to let go of something before He gives you something better. Maybe he wants to be in a deeper relationship with you before He allows a dream to come in that is going to take more of your time.
I began watering the plant pictured for my landlord over a year ago. I would periodically water it and it greened right up, but I had never seen it bloom, then all of a sudden today there are a bunch of beautiful, surprising, tiny blooms on it! I never even imagined this plant would bloom, I just wanted to keep it alive. The Lord surprised me with more than I could imagine!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5
I bet you can look back on your life and say, "Wow! I never thought it would be like this." Most of us can! Do not let fear or anxiety overcome you as you wait. Be like Taylor Swift and "Shake it Off!" Do not let Satan get in your ear and talk you out of your dream. Pray. Trust the Lord. Be open to what His will for you will look like! You can do this my friend! I believe in you and I believe in your dream!
xo,
Sara
P.S. I am finishing writing this blog on June 1st. As of today, we still have not officially closed on this house so we continue to wait. Pray. Trust. We have open hands trusting in the Lord whatever may come!
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