A couple of weeks ago, I rode our horse Booger, rinsed him off, and put fly boots on him. I don't usually use fly boots, or masks, but Booger is extra sensitive to the flies and ends up with painful scabs all over his legs. In an effort to protect him, I decided to use these things to help him heal and to prevent future sores.
Before he was completely dry, I turned him out and immediately.... He was down! Rolling and rolling and then just to show me he didn't like being clean, he rolled again! I couldn't help, but laugh and roll my eyes. This goofy and playful horse was showing me that he didn't care if he was clean or not!
Once he got up, he started chewing on the fly boots trying to get them off. Exasperated, I told him, "I am just trying to protect you and care for you!"
Then it hit me. God, so many times in my life, has been protecting me and caring for me, but in the midst of "it" I had no idea. Often times, when I've dreamed of something or felt left out of something else, God has been protecting me and preparing me for His better plans.
Currently, my husband and I are in a state of waiting. We enjoy what we are doing now, but we know that God has bigger plans for us. If you know me at all, you know I am not a patient person... at all! This season has been tough on me. I have let myself dream and wonder and question why not now? But God has stayed pretty quiet in spite of my questions. I know this isn't a bad thing because it has drawn me closer to God. I've had to depend on the things I know to be true.
Psalm 68:19-20: "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death."
Daily, God bears our burdens. He has given us the desires of our hearts and matches our hearts to His when we are daily seeking Him and laying down our life.
Jeremiah 29:11-14 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
Through this time of wondering if the waiting is necessary, I have to remind myself that God feels what I am feeling and He has good plans for us. My calling is not to live out the homestead and horse training dream God has given me, but my calling is to love God with my whole heart and out of that to love the people around me. I can live out this calling no matter the circumstances I am in.
I am constantly asking myself how to shift my perspective towards God, to be thankful for what he is protecting me from and preparing me for. How can you change your perspective to see the ways God may be protecting you?
Here are some ways that I can see God has protected me in the past:
My heart. Since I was young, I wanted to be married and I was tempted to give my heart away on many occasions. Fortunately for me, the timing never worked out and God protected me until I met Brandon. I had a mostly whole heart to give to the most perfect man God could have created for me.
Mustangs on a Mission. Though the goal was Mexico to Canada, we only made it to Northern Arizona. This was devastating at the time and I wrestled with feeling like a failure for several years, but in the end, it was God's perfect timing and provision. Looking back, I can see the Lord was protecting me from my immaturity, my ego, and the separation from Him that I was experiencing. Though it was a mission trip, I was relying on my own strength instead of the Lord.
Horses. I told my parents at 2 years old that I wanted horses. That is a desire and passion that has never left, though in what way I've worked with horses has changed drastically. The Lord has taken me from a wrangler leading dude rides to riding mustangs across the country to performance horses to ministry to therapy to training and lessons. God has protected me physically in the wrecks I've had and in my dreams by fine tuning what my passions are: people and horses. God has led me to a place where I get to combine those two passions in my own business; something I had never thought possible!
So, my friend, whether you are in a season of asking "why God, why?!" or you've come through those seasons, know that it is okay to question. It is okay to struggle. It is okay to hurt. Seasons might be uncomfortable, new, or down right painful, but, do not lose hope, because God still has a good plan for you and He still deeply loves you!
xo,
Sara
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